Father's Day Evil

I've often been accused of being evil (even though I swore to use my powers only for good), and I'll have to admit, my accusers are correct.

On Father's Day, I took Veronica out for a long walk (a ride for her, the lazybones), which we both enjoyed. Passing a nearby shopping center, we were accosted by a group of women who wanted to ooh and ahh over Veronica. They were very nice, but one of them hung about after the others passed on. This woman would not quit talking long enough for me to politely move on. I'm known for the occasional bit of exaggeration for dramatic purposes (and dramatic porpoises, too), but the honest to Jehovah truth is that this woman talked non-stop for well over twenty minutes. I must have been radiating misery, as people gave me looks of sympathy as they walked by. It appeared that there was no end in sight, as this woman bombarded us with stories about everything from the NBA playoffs to her experiences with hemorrhoids (no, I'm not kidding). Finally, she gave us our break, stating that "You must be just loving this first Father's Day. I remember when---".

Reacting swiftly to seize this opportunity I interrupted with a sigh, followed with "Ma'am, we're Jewish. We do NOT celebrate Father's Day."

This caused her to pause (with a really confused and horrified look on her face) long enough that we could make our escape, after saying "Anyway, have a nice day, ma'am".

I'd like to take this opportunity to apolgoize to my Jewish reader for appropriating her religious tradition to save myself from a fate worse than watching Donahue. Also, I apologize to my Palestinian reader for calling my Jewish reader Jewish and not a "Zionist War-Monger".