Work is funny sometimes

Today, at work, a patient who hasn't been able to eat for weeks (he's been receiving intravenous feedings only) attempted to make it to the toilet. He failed. He proceeded to spread fecal waste all over the walls, floor, and his wheelchair. I helped him to clean himself up, got him some clean clothes, and was ready to send him on his way. One of the other nurses walking by, seeing the mess, asked "oh poor Mr. ######, where did all of that come from?" Without missing a beat, he said, "my ass". Mass laughter ensued.