Saturday, April 30, 2005

The Great Nigerian Hope?

Samuel Peter, holder of one of the "alphabet belts", knocked out a journeyman on ESPN's Friday Night Fights last night. Peter is being hyped as the next dominant heavyweight, and maybe he will be--he's only in his mid-20's, so he has time to learn some more, but from what I saw in last night's fight, if you put him in the ring with someone who can box, he'd get a real chin-test. Peter has power, but his technique did not impress.

I'll be watching him though, as with the current state of the heavyweight division, anything is possible.

Friday, April 29, 2005

Another Heavyweight Yawn-fest

Prompted by my discussions with Heff (blog not for kids), I've decided to start discussing, at least occasionally, my beloved sport of boxing on this here blog.

Tommorrow night, there is to be a battle between two guys who have shown almost no kick-assedness whatsoever, but have somehow managed to make a living in heavyweight ranks.

Johnny "Louise" Ruiz follow's Muhammad Ali's example of holding, grabbing, and bending the rules, and has done so up to a laughable WBA belt. Unlike "the Greatest", however, "Louise" lacks the boxing skills, the strength, the chin, and the speed that made Ali one of the greatest boxers of all time. In his last fight against Andrew "The Foul Pole" Golota, "Johnny Louise" was beaten like a drum, knocked down twice, and only Golota's poor conditioning and late round sloth let the Mexican Hugging Bean eke out a unanimous decision. Ruiz looked like a fool fighting, and losing to, Roy Jones, Jr.

James "Lights Out Due to extreme boredom" Toney has not had a victory over a quality heavyweight (No, a 75-year old Holyfield doesn't count as quality), though he was impressive in lower classes. I was impressed with how Toney beat a tomato can (albeit an undefeated one) named Rydell Booker with one arm (he ruptured his biceps tendon). I watched this fight, and can attest to the toughness of "JLOT". Toney's chin has yet to be tested, but as Johnny Louise couldn't knock down a bean pole, Toney's chin won't be an issue. What will be an issue, is Toney's current Hatch-like physique. Toney started boxing as a pro at 160...what did he weigh in at, 230+? If he isn't fast enough to run around Ruiz like Roy Jones Jr did, Toney will have a tough time on Saturday. Given Toney's penchant for injury, his weight and conditioning could be a major factor.

Leonard's loser? Johnny Louise, probably in an ugly, boring, hug fest. Ruiz lacks the power to put Toney away, and unless Toney is even more out of shape than I'm thinking, he'll take a unanimous decision. Toney has skills, but he seems to lack real power, so while Toney could score a knockdown or two, I'd just as soon expect Hatch to join the Moscow Ballet before this fight (that I'm not buying, BTW) ends with a knockout. The judges may again award an ugly victory to Ruiz, but I despise the guy to much to actually predict such a thing.
DLOPP or Die!!!

Inspired by Hatch's DBAN (Dripping Butt-Ass Naked) weigh-in reports, I've decided to start my own weight-related updates. DLOPP (De-Lardassification Of Paul Project) reports will come in as accomplishments are made. Since starting DLOPP 6 or so weeks ago, I've dropped 14 lbs, and am feeling much better. The goal is still distant, but progress is being made.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

The Hawwah, The Hawwah!

Those of you who know me, know that I am an animal lover. However, I do not equate animals with people, and I certainly don't believe that animals have inherent, unalienable rights. Here's a story about a movie set animal accident. While it's unfortunate that the horsey died (especially if nobody thought to cut a coupla steaks off first), it's the wailing and gnashing of teeth at this "tragedy" that leaves me wanting to kick somebody (yes, while wearing my murdered-cow-skin boots). My only comfort is the hope that multitudes of PETA members will commit mass suicide in protest of this tragedy befalling their non-human animal brethren.

Me? I'm having steak for dinner.
Carnival of Cordite

Stumbled across this 2nd Amendment blog. Some pretty interesting stuff.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Guns, Germs, and Sophistry

On Tobermory's newsblog, I found this link to VDH's review of Jared Diamond's most recent book, titled Collapse. I read Diamond's Guns, Germs, and Steel, and, while I enjoyed Diamond's writing, I found the book to be intellectually unsatisfying. A lot of the blather seems to make sense, and it seemed that he did a mighty job of finding data to fit his desired conclusion, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it is accurate in fact (often not) or correct in interpretation of the purported facts(ditto). Given his propensity for finding data to fit a previously determined conclusion, often ignoring competing facts, critical thought, and logic, Jared Diamond may actually be the pseudo-science world's equivalent of the everybody's favorite ex-news-bufoon, Dan Rather.
Those Wacky Brits

Hmmmmm.....the latest teen crime craze in the UK is something called "Happy Slapping". No Hatch and Heff, it's not "Mr. Happy Slapping".
Syrian troops pull out of Lebanon

It's finally come. After a long occupation, the Syrian Army has been pulled out of Lebanon. My good buddy Yasser Kenaan is no doubt dancing in the streets and doing things for which he'll have to do extra Ramadan prayers of atonement (laugh, don't shoot). I am happy for the people of Lebanon, but I do view their future with some concern. Hopefully democracy and personal liberty will take root, leaving sectarian bloodshed and civil war in the past.

"W" is given some well-deserved credit for the changes in the Middle East, though in this article, it seems the UN, Chirac, and Shroeder are getting the praise. Even the Israelis are hopeful of good things to come in their relations with Lebanon (of course, they probably won't).

Friday, April 22, 2005

Paul Goes 'Nanners

Today, after ending my day at work with great frustration, the wife picked me up and spirited me away to Captain D's, our fast-food joint of choice. A ghetto-talking, flaming gay, bleached-blond white boy behind the counter was exhibiting more "character" than is generally safe. As he was mockingly rude to each of the customers in front of me, I was shocked that the manager-guy didn't fire the guy on the spot. I took a great deal of comfort from my expectation the fact that the huge, tatooed black guy in front of me would break the guy into little bitty pieces. Surprisingly, big guy was treated rudely by cashier-boy, again with no real response. Manager boy took my order, sparing me having to deal with cashier-boy. Right as my food came to me, another customer approached the counter to pick up her food. She questioned cashier-boy regarding the number of pieces of fish in her order, and he said to her "Well, ma'am, ya want me to count 'em 'cuz you can't?" Silence. Unable to take it anymore, I chimed in "He looks like a gay Eminem, ma'am. You can trust him with your fish". A large number of black folks hooted, and mass laughter ensued. A few brief obscenities later, Manager boy stepped in and had "Eminette" go to the back, before things got "out of hand", while he took over the counter. Fortunately, my food was already bagged up, so hopefully it's body-fluid free.....hopefully.

Those of you who know me know that I have nothing against gay folk----I just can't stand rudeness. Heinlein was right, it should be a capital offense.
Battlestar Galactica--Season Two

There are already some spoilers out for Season 2 episodes, if any of you are interested.
Now you know why I buy bottled water

Probably another in a long line of crackpot articles, here's an article about fluoridation and it's links to mind control and domination. Having lived in places where the water was not fluoridated, it does appear that there is a dental benefit to fluoridation, but I don't want my mind controlled by anybody (except by you Ferlie....don't cut me!)
Hibernating Humans

Jim Clearman and I talked about this stuff years ago. I'm curious to see if this pans out, as it would be of huge benefit, having both medical and recreational uses. I guess it would benefit famine management, too. Plus, if you were dying, and just HAD to stay alive long enough for the next Harry Potter movie (or a child's wedding, etc), you could prolong your life down at "Crazy Jim's Hibernation Haven".

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Workin' Out

Those of you that have seen me recently are probably aware that I gained about 50 lbs during Ferlie's gestating of Veronica. In the past 7 weeks or so, I've started exercising regularly again, and while I'm nowhere near the level of activity that I was at a year ago, I'm working on it.

Getting back to the weight room was a chore, in large part because I knew that I couldn't start back in my old 4 days a week pyramid pump plan. I no longer have that kind of time (I'd rather be rocking my baby), plus I needed to start back at a more basic level to prevent a new addition to my collection of orthopedic injuries. I consulted my good buddy Mike (who, in addition to being a member of Mensa has a masters degree in Kinesiology/Human Performance Studies). I started doing a 40-min, 3-day a week version of the "Mike Ray Plan", which he's used to turn puny little guys into offensive linemen. I've been pleased with the increases in the amount that I can lift, as well as the number of reps I can do. I guess Mike learned something down at BAMA.

The current lifts are: bench press, cable fly, tricep pulldown, barbell curl, barbell shrug, lat pulldown, and military press. When I'm able to do two "clean" sets of ten (which I follow with a lower-weight set until exhaustion), I go up in weight. I don't have a reliable spotter, so that's why the lower-weight exhaustion sets are added. I haven't tried "maxing" yet, but my goal is to be benching 300lbs by the end of the Summer.

I'm doing a variety of cardio exercises, but the big thing that I need to do is work on the diet. That'll come later....hopefully.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Emerilware Ahoy!

Based on the recommendation of our good friend Tobermory, Ferlotta and I bought some of All Clad's "Emeril" Cookware. It's comparatively cheap (in part because it has glass lids, which I prefer, fortunately), has all stainless cooking surfaces, and all the pieces meet my requirements for (a)flambe' cooking and (b) going into the oven. To break it in, I made some "Green Sea Angel Hair Pasta" (original recipe, where I cook pasta in heavily salted and oregano-infused water), and tossed it in with my L&LSS (Limejuice and Lard Shrimp Sautee) that includes pine nuts, summer squash, zucchini, capers, olive oil, cilantro, and kosher salt. Normally, I'd use garlic and some onions, but they don't go well with breast-feeding.

Here's a close-up of the finished product. I gotta say, it was pretty nice-tasting. Ferlie said that Filipinos would like it because "unlike American food, this is cooked with flavor".

Saturday, April 16, 2005


Last weekend, we were joined by the Hatchers for Veronica's first picnic. The scene was Centennial Park (map), and the weather was wonderful. Here you see Unca Hatch attempting not to freak out while he holds Veronica like a loaf of bread. Hopefully, he'll be a bit better "broken in" by the time he and Marissa have Pretty Tory's little sibling.

Auntie Rissa displays her baby-magic converting the crying drool-monster back into a sweet little baby.

Unca Hatch tries not to vomit at the sight/scent of one of Veronica's custom pieces of "diaper art".

Nieces and Nephews!!!

Here is a picture of my niece Eia-Girl (Sophia). She is getting bigger and prettier each day. Hopefully, she'll be ready for baby-sitting duty soon.

My Godchildren, Matthew (happy jumping boy) and Mykah, are growing up! Their Papa, Manny sent me this picture of the beautiful twins at 5 months.
Finally, a Contest Burt Can Win

The Story Inn, in Nashville, Indiana, sponsors a Village Idiot competition each year. I'm betting that most of the nominees are potential Democrat and Republican presidential nominees.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Hey Net Guys....Help!

I have no idea what this means, but i stumbled upon it, and it's made me curious. Not curious enough to investigate, but curious enough to ask...heheheh
The Fair Tax

I'm not yet decided on this issue, but my initial reaction is a positive one. Ridding ourselves of the IRS always sounds good to me, but I'm hesitant to jump on this bandwagon. I've looked at the figures with only a cursatory eye, so I'm still undecided. I'm curious to hear what my dear ole Dad has to say, seeing as he's an accountant and all.

A link to the fair tax folks' FAQ is here.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Google Maps Makes Nostalgia Fun

I've really enjoyed fiddling around with Google's new online map service.

Here's an example of what you can do.

My old neighborhood in Midland, Texas, and a satellite photo of the same place here.
Now, Let's Get to Building

According to, some scientists say an ideal spot for a "moon base" has been found. Now, we need to build there before the Chinese do.
Ugly Bags of Mostly Water

Just in case you are feeling a bit abnormal, or perhaps feeling that your life is pointless or weird, I've found the movie to raise your self-esteem. Watch Earthlings: Ugly Bags of Mostly Water. This celluloid masterpiece is a documentary on the KLI (for those of you too cool to know, it's the Klingon Language Institute, a group of deranged Star Trek fans who have learned, and speak, the Klingon language). Live long, and prosper bitches.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

'Cause My Little Sammy Serves Me----Cadillac Style

Today, Ferlotta, Veronica, and I journeyed to the Northern extremes of Davidson County to dine at This joint is the pet project of country music has-been Lorrie Morgan, and her latest victim-husband Sammy Kershaw. The chicken, as advertised, is hot and spicey. It seems that they fry the chicken in a typical Southeastern manner, dip it in some sorta hot sauce, and then encrust it with some manner of spice mix, resulting in something that is very hot and flavorful, different from, but no better than, Prince's Hot Chicken Shack. It seems their "Plain Chicken" equals pretty decent fried chicken. Better than the Colonel's, but nothing to scream about. Their Fried Okra is probably the best that I've ever had. I think I liked it better because I didn't taste a ton of corn meal in the batter. Fried pickles.....These were nothing special, about what you'd find in a bar--thin slivers of pickled cucumber, fried in a bad imitation of tempura batter, and served with ranch dressing. The emergency back-up cheeseburger had a lotta meat for the money, and it was surprisingly good, served with spiced crinkle-cut fries. Ferlie loved the fried corn-on-the-cob. If we ever go back, I'll skip the chicken and have the burger and okra.
George W. Bush is a Traitor or a Coward

Yes, I think that we are better off than we would have been if Gore or Kerry had been elected....probably. Here's a VDH link I stole from Tobermory, commenting on the strengths of W's administration(s).

The primary reason that I'm down on Bush? He has the ability to (in large part, at least) shut down the flood of illegal immigration (and all that goes with it, including drugs, sex slaves, and possibly terrorists), and he doesn't take any effective steps. He is either a willing accomplice in the porous-border policy that is harming our country in return for cheap labor (which makes him a traitor), he's afraid to act because of the political consequences (which makes him a coward), or he doesn't see the threat (which makes him as stupid as his opponents claim).

Lest you think that I'm just realizing this, I've said the same thing about every president since 1988 (when I first started examining the politics of immigration, which was in large part due to discussions with Dr. David McElroy---an amazing history professor, who unfortunately used "we" to refer to the Nazi party).

Friday, April 08, 2005

I Told You So

Story: Prostate radiation may increase rectal cancer risk.

I've talked to some of you (you know who you are) about this a year or two ago. There are a lot of factors to take into account when deciding which treatment is right for you, and a 70% increased risk of developing colorectal cancer 5 or more years later is one of the things to take into account.
A Sad Note

Oscar Reeder Wallace, my grandfather's best friend, has died. I did not know him as well as I would have liked, but I will remember his kindness, his Southern charm, and the way that he was always friendly to me.

Oscar's name once came up in the drawing room at Mallet. Several folks were sitting around, testing one another's knowledge of baseball trivia, and someone asked "when was the last time that a batter was killed by a pitch in the US?" I didn't know exactly when, but I knew that it was during the 1930's. I knew this because my grandfather had told me the story of how Oscar, pitching in a local "bush league" game, had accidentally hit a batsman in the head, killing him. It is said that Oscar was an amazing pitcher, but that this accident haunted him for the rest of his life. (only one "major leager" has been killed by a pitch, that was Ray Chapman).

I thought very highly of him, and I hope that he is at peace.

What a day! On my way back from sending off a check (written in blood) to the IRS (well, actually the U.S. Treasury) I witnessed what initially appeared to be a bad wreck (car vs telephone pole). This big, grey Grand Marquis weaved across 4 lanes of traffic and back, and disappeared from my field of view, accompanied by a loud crash. I pulled over to turn around and called 911. Traffic was incredibly congested, so I decided to make the call, then go to the wreck. Inside was an elderly couple, the male was somewhat disoriented, the female said "We're okay, I just think his sugar is low". There were no marks on either, and both were conscious and denying any pain. They had been very lucky that their car had slammed into a mound of dirt and rocks, and they'd missed the pole by inches.

I had his wife give him a piece of candy while we waited for the paramedics and cops to arrive (which took about 25 minutes, despite there being a police station, fire department, and hospital all within 2 miles). By that time the old gent was fine, just embarrassed (I'll rant about letting people with diabetes drive another time).

2 fire trucks, 3 police cars, and an 2 ambulances had arrived at the scene by the time I left (the fire truck beat the others by5 minutes at least). This is a prime example of the ridiculous mismanagement of of our emergency response system. A good friend of mine, who works for the fire department, tells me blood-curdling stories of unnecessary budget increases, and the fraudulent means used to try to justify them (intentionally over-responding non-emergencies to pad the number of responses, etc), when there are progressively fewer fires each year. The firefighters' union would have you believe that it's members are doing a great deal more than what they actually are (much like nurses' unions would have you think that nurses are being forced to treat wounds with bat guano poultices because evil hospital administrators won't let us use antibiotics).

In the aftermath of the 9-11 heroism (and looting) by firefighters, our society needs to look at our emergency response programs with something that resembles rational thought. Fire fighters, police officers, and EMT/Paramedics are all vital to our society, but we should decrease the political and corruption factors involved in the delivery of those services, if we want the best service, as well as the most "bang for our buck".

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Love That Christian Yoga...Endorsed by Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker, Perhaps?

While I've not been practicing for over a year, I am a believer in the benefits of yoga. Well, just leave it up to a Christian con-woman with product to sell to come up with an approach to yoga that won't send you straight to hell. I'm sure that the Islam-friendly version of yoga will be selling books soon (instead of "downward facing dog", the position is called "downward facing infidel awaiting beheading").

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

The Battle Rages On

Fightin' in Saudi Arabia!!! I just hope they don't blow up my favorite shawarma shop (well, not my favorite, but it was the most convenient). Link to the story in "the Green Truth".

The Saudis may not be "the good guys", but at least, in order to preserve their corrupt, evil monarchy, they are fighting "the worse guys".
Stop the Insanity!!!

No, I'm not referencing the crazy diet chick, I'm talking about daylight savings time. I stole this link from my good buddy Mike.

Read this article. DST must be stopped.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Polish Pontiff Passes, and a Muslim is Born

Yesterday, while tending the sick and comforting the dying, I spent several hours watching the news coverage of the passing of Pope John Paul II. One of my patients is Catholic, and while she lay ill, her family was agonizing over the Pope's demise. Apparently, the family had been bitterly divided after an argument over the Vatican II reforms, and were wondering how the change in Church leadership will effect their religious practice. One of the kids quited the room, saying "Well, Mom wouldn't like it, she always said Vatican II is the work of could say she didn't like change". After a minute of shocked silence, the room erupted with laughter, probably the first time any of these folks had laughed in a week or more.

On my way out of the hospital, I was approached by a trio of Somali women. They were lost, confused, near panic and trying to find the 4th floor. In their ethnic garb, body shape is hard to discern, but the 4th floor quest, combined with one of the women breathing heavily, led me to deduce that she was in labor. I grabbed a wheelchair and started heading towards labor and delivery. Even though one of the women with her spoke a little English, the Arabic that I'd learned in Saudi Arabia came in handy. I was never close to fluent, and I've forgotten a lot in the past 3 years, but my feeble attempts to communicate weren't a total failure, and she seemed comforted. Fortunately, another family member showed up before my Arabic ran out, and that lady was an excellent translator. I spoke with her a bit, and she inquired as to where I'd learned Arabic. When I told her Saudi Arabia, she made a sign to ward off evil, and said---"You don't have the Saudi pig accent". I'm not sure if she was kidding or not, but I didn't stick around to find out. Inshallah, mother and child are doing well.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Hatch, Keep Yer Mama Outta Angola!

Marburg virus....yuk! The Hatchmama has travelled to Angola before, doing missionary work. Hopefully, she'll keep herself outta there for awhile, as everyone's 3rd favorite hemorrhagic fever is running wild again. Story here
Happy B-day, Gmail!

That's right folks, Gmail turns one year old today. I was invited to join by my good buddy Haitch, and I've have come to love gmail. Even in beta-test, it blows the socks off of Hotmail, Yahoo, and any the dreaded outlook Excess. I think you still have to have an invite to use it, so if any of y'all/youse guys want to try Gmail, lemme know.